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For so many of my single friends, Tinder has become a necessary evil. In contrast, Tinder seems so casual, and the way Tinder tries endlessly to market itself as wholesome and friendly makes it appear as though you could go on there to find friends just as much as you could to find hookups. I called bullshit. How would men on Tinder treat someone who told them upfront she had a boyfriend?
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Because we all know how it ends. When the nights over and the sun has come up, everything is different. That feeling of awkwardness and the worry that gnaws away at every part of you as you wonder what the other person is thinking. The thoughts running through your own head as you get dressed, or gather all your things together. Do you have bad breath? What do you smell like? We started talking, and actually hit it off a bit.
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Kindness is one of them. When you are a kind person, you're not only helping others, you are helping yourself, too. There's substantial scientific evidence that being kind makes you -- and others around you -- happy. In a study conducted by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, psychology professor at University of California, Riverside, students were assigned to do five random acts of kindness per week for a period of six weeks.
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For me, was the Year of the Dump. It was a time when I got back into the dating game by treating it as just that: Flings happened and were then flung aside; only a few lasted longer than it takes me to get through a season of "How I Met Your Mother" on Netflix. There was Young Patrick, the year-old Congressional staffer for whom "selfish in bed" doesn't even begin to do justice: Andy, the father of two who came in like a wrecking ball of neediness and misplaced ideas of what courtship post-divorce is supposed to look like.
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